Episode 159 - Reducing Indecision and Procrastination
If you’re a multi-passionate creative with lots of ideas and you find yourself stuck in a paralyzing cycle of endless possibilities, this episode is for you. We’ll explore two distinct approaches to tackle indecision and procrastination, revealing how they often mask as an elaborate form of fear. I’ll share practical questions to help you make a choice; as well as tips to help you reframe your fears and move towards action. Lastly, we'll touch on how to shift your identity from a doubter to a doer by changing your self-talk, embracing discomfort, and implementing ways to manage the loss associated with decisions. Tune in to become a more efficient decision-maker.
Topics
Challenges of Indecision and Procrastination.
Addressing fears and overcoming the fear of not being good enough.
Approaching creative endeavors with joy.
Three steps to shift from hesitation to action.
Strategies for Commitment and Goal Achievement.
Thought-provoking questions to aid in decision-making.
Links
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Resources:
Transcript
[AUTO-GENERATED]
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:06]:
Welcome to the Self Growth Nerds podcast. I'm your host, Marie, a courage coach, creative soul, and adventure seeker. Since thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2019, I'm on a mission to help you embrace your most confident self so you can achieve your dreams too. If you're eager for deep conversations, big questions, and meaningful connections, join me on the quest to discovering how we can create a more magical and memorable life. Hello, nerds. How are you? I'm good. I just blew my nose a bunch of times. I think I'm either starting to get the flu or need to vacuum my house.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:51]:
Not sure which one it is. We'll see. Today, we are talking about reducing indecision and procrastination. Vacuuming is one of the things I procrastinate. Now before we jump in, I wanna make a book recommendation. I have been reading Tom Lake by Ann Patchett, and it's the most drama free novel I've read in a long, long time. Nothing happens so far other than just a mother living on a cherry orchid with her 3 daughters and her husband telling them stories about her past. If you need something like relaxing for your nervous system, this is it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:01:36]:
This is it. My friend Allison finished it. I asked her if something was gonna happen, and she said not really. So sometimes we need this. Okay. Today, I'm gonna give you 2 ways to approach decision making when you feel stuck and then 3 steps to become a more efficient decision maker. So with that being said, let's be efficient and start right away. This episode is especially for the multipassionate creatives out there who have tons of ideas constantly and struggle to decide which one to go with.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:18]:
I see 2 patterns. The first one is the one I used to fall into, which is trying to do them all at the same time, trying to I remember this day where I had a bunch of ideas that I was really excited about. I created a Google Sheet and try this to to figure out how I could fit them all into my schedule. It's like they're I can't it's like all of my children, I love them equally, and I cannot let one of them go. They they're all coming with me in the car. But what would inevitably happen is I would hit a wall and get exhausted halfway through all of these projects. It's, if you've listened to my episodes called what types of perfectionist are you part 1 and part 2, or if you have read the book, the perfectionist guide to losing control, I'm a messy perfectionist. Meaning, I have no issue starting a bunch of things, but I used to have a hard time getting to the end of a project.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:23]:
Now that's something I've worked on in the last 5 years, and have changed my approach. I'm gonna tell you more about that in this episode. So that's the first pattern I I notice in people. And the other one is people have lots of ideas, but they stay stuck at the idea phase, stuck in indecision. They they stay stuck at which one? Like, my, my god daughter, she's turning 3 years old this weekend, and she says, which 1? Which 1? She she just likes the game of deciding. Which one? So you stay stuck at which one and, like, have a bunch of notebooks and planners full of ideas that you've never really turned into a reality. Because you believe that there must be a better choice and you're seeking certainty before you get started. You're seeking certainty that it's going to work, but that type of certainty is a mirage.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:04:32]:
It doesn't actually exist. Think about Netflix. Okay? One of the biggest companies right now. The first iteration of Netflix was sending people DVDs in the mail. I remember hearing a story about the the person who started it and how they were told early on that their idea was never going to work, and look where it has got them today. I mean, these kinds of stories you hear all the time on the podcast how I built this, about how businesses are built. It very often starts with an idea that that's not great, but it's just the first iteration, and you need to start iterating before you can get to the $1,000,000 idea. So there are 2 ways you can approach decision making when you have a bunch of ideas and you don't know where to get started.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:29]:
I got the idea for this episode in a YouTube video from one of my favorite YouTubers, Strutless. He's a an Australian artist. And the video is called 24 bits of life advice in 24 minutes. It's great. I'm gonna add a link in the show notes if you want to hear more about what he has to say. So the first approach, he says, is the tough love approach. Tell yourself that indecision is a fancy form of procrastination, which sometimes is a fancy form of fear. So now I'm gonna elaborate of on what Strutless talked about in his video.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:13]:
When I work with clients or when I meet people on discovery calls, they often tell me I don't know where to start. But the truth is I have a pretty good idea of where to start, but I'm terrified. Or they actually do believe that they don't know where to start, but when I get them to quiet their mind and get still and connect to their core, the answer is in there. So it's in you. It's just that fear and mind chatter is is making it blurry for you. Just like, if you're standing in a river and you're moving your feet, you're not gonna see the bottom of the river. But if you get still, you're gonna see the rocks at the bottom a lot more clearly. Same thing.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:02]:
So if you're stuck in indecision, ask Self, what is it that I'm avoiding? Try to be honest. What is it that I'm afraid of? Indecision and procrastination can be ways to distract yourself, ways to stay safe. Oh, I can't move forward because I'm confused. I have to figure things out before I can make a move. You can stay there for a very, very long time, but sometimes confusion is not real. It can be a tool that your ego uses to keep you in the cave, to keep you safe, to keep you in the familiar. So get curious about what's going on. I'm gonna give you 2 examples.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:50]:
Someone who says they wanna write a book, but they haven't started yet. If we were to ask them what they were avoiding, they might reply, oh, well, I'm scared. I'm just not gonna be good enough, that no one is going to wanna read it. We need to address that fear. Instead of, like, going to do a bunch of creative writing certificates and creative writing retreats and spending lots of money there, which is what I see a lot of people doing, trying to become, quote, unquote, good enough before they take action, but that's not the way to go. Yes. It's it's very smart to get training, and at some point, you've got to push yourself off the cliff. I'm a big believer of starting before you're ready, of going in scared, of being courageous.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:08:45]:
So one way that I would reframe the fear of not being good enough is by saying, yeah, you are not gonna be good enough at first. And that's okay because that's the only way to become better. There is nothing shameful about sucking at something new. That's what I hammered on in last week's episode about overconfidence and underconfidence. So if you haven't listened, go listen. Let's say I was to tell you your, 4th book is going to be a best Self. I can see it in my crystal ball, but first, you've got to write the first 3. The first the first 3 are going to fly under the radar.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:30]:
Not many people are gonna read them, and then the 4th one is gonna go wild. You'd you'd be like, okay, Marie. I'm I'm gonna get to work. I'm gonna write those books as quickly as possible. Right? You would. You you would get that done. Like, I'm gonna get them written. I'm gonna have fun doing so because I know that something good is coming for me.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:50]:
If if, you know, if having a bestseller book is what success is for you. Right? I'm giving you an example. You just, get over yourself and do the goddamn work. The only reason you don't is because you don't believe that it can work out for you in the future. Even better is the belief that it doesn't matter what's going to happen in the future, that you want to sit down and write because it brings you joy in the present. You don't even need the guarantee of success in the future because you have success in the present through, feeling fulfilled to express yourself. Self expression in all of its forms is so liberating. And I'm talking to all of you, not just those of you who want to write books, but those of you who feel like they have a story to tell whether it be through giving talks, starting a podcast, creating a blog.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:57]:
So something is trying to come out of you and you're doubting that it's worth sharing. You're thinking like, well, my story is not that special. I'm telling you if it's pushing from the inside out, wanting to be let out, it has to be expressed. If not for other people's good, for your own good. And if we go back to the book example, I would argue that it doesn't matter if it's well written or not as long as it's clear as long as it's communicated in, like, a a way that people can understand. What's the worst that can happen? Ask yourself. No one reads it? So what? So what? If it helps just 1 person and that person is you, to me, that's worth it. And if it helps 2, 3, 4 people, great.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:11:57]:
You don't need to make that mean that you failed. You can decide ahead of time to have your own back no matter what happens. You can decide to say, look. I was determined and courageous enough to go all the way to the end of this idea. And for that, I am proud. Okay. Let's move on to example number 2. I feel like a preacher today.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:12:24]:
Okay. Example number 2, let's say you wanna start a side business. You've been talking about potential ideas for years, and you haven't tried any of them. What are you afraid of? You might tell me, well, Marie, I'm afraid that I'm just gonna be too tired after work, and I won't have the discipline to show up for myself. It's easy for me to show up for others, but when it comes to me, I just I'm probably gonna, like, quit after a few weeks. Okay. Okay. So because you think you're gonna quit after a few weeks, you shouldn't try.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:04]:
You're giving up ahead of time because you don't wanna give up in 2 weeks. You're giving up now. I don't wanna let that happen. Let's think about how we can reframe this. If you know this about yourself, if you know based on past behaviors that you tend to do this, then you need to sit down with yourself, have a meeting, and ask the question, how could we approach this differently now moving forward instead of just assuming that you're broken and that you're the kind of person who who never finishes what they start? Maybe that's been true for you in the past, but doesn't have to be true for you in the future. Maybe you just need a different strategy. So brainstorm with yourself or with a friend or with a mentor, with a coach. This reminds me of what I did, before Growth hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:58]:
I was terrified that I would quit. I didn't wanna come home after 2 weeks after putting everything on hold, And so I obsessed over the question of how can I make sure I'm not going to quit? Of course, accidents happen, but how can I make it as easy as possible for me to keep going? And if you're curious about that process, I turned it into a YouTube video series called how not to quit. Just look for how not to quit self growth Nerds on YouTube. You'll find it. If we stick with the side business example, however, examples of strategies to make sure you keep going might look like having an accountability partner or going to the coffee shop nearby, every Friday for an hour, starting small instead of maybe in the past what you've done is set the bar really high and expect yourself to work on your business 2 hours a day every day. That's just not realistic. So maybe you you lower the bar and just tell yourself, okay. I'm gonna be out the house.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:15:04]:
Maybe, my friend, Allison, who who has the business, she dreams of Alpine, I think she would when she know that it's hard for you to focus when you're in the house because you see, like, all the chores that you have to do, then, no. She would go to the library, I think. Anyway, you get the gist. Then it if you know that it's hard for you to focus at home, get out of your house. Like, plan it on your schedule. I'm gonna get out of my house. I'm gonna make it super appealing for me. I'm gonna get, like, a nice coffee, and I'm gonna start working on my business 1 hour every week for the next year.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:15:46]:
See how far that takes you. We often have like a all all or nothing approach. All or nothing thinking is either I have to do it perfectly from the start, I have to go all in, or not at all. But we underestimate what's possible with, like, just 1 hour every week for 52 weeks. That's 52 hours. You can get a lot done in 52 hours. Another strategy might be to hire a coach. Because when you work with someone like me, there's no hiding.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:16]:
You cannot quit on yourself because I'm here every week with you to kick you, and and I'm here to kick you in the butt and to remind you that you're capable, and and I'm here to hold belief if you are doubting. I'm here to hold belief until you can believe in yourself. So there are a bunch of ways. Just please don't just decide that you are the way you've always been. That is a fixed mindset. You can transform. You can shift identity. You can evolve in ways that you can't even imagine right now.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:59]:
I've experienced it, and I've seen my clients experience it. It can happen real fast, and it can happen over a number of years. Everyone's different. One of my previous clients, she was a musician, and I remember us talking about how afraid she was of being judged when playing in front of other people. And now she's posting videos of her music all the time online promoting her services. It's amazing. The shift is amazing, and I would bet she's feeling so much freer, so much better about herself. Now before we move on to the 2nd approach, I just wanna circle back quickly to the side business example.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:17:43]:
And those of you who wanna start something along those lines but are scared you're gonna give up after a few weeks or after a few few months, So what? What's the big deal? Even if you try out for a few months and then you change your mind, that's okay. You will have learned something. It's not time wasted. You will have learned something about what you like and what you don't like. There's a bunch of ventures I started and didn't finish. There's nothing wrong with quitting. It can be really good to quit when you discover that something is not in alignment with you. Okay? Quitting is doesn't say anything about your worth as a human being.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:18:31]:
Even if you quit because you're tired, That's okay. That happens. You can get back to it later on or not if you don't feel like it. Again, there's nothing shameful about that. You might think it's not ideal, and, yeah, okay. If if it's your dream, it might not be ideal, but you don't have to beat yourself up about it. You can just decide you're gonna try again. Just like the movie Naiad on Netflix about the swimmer who wanted to swim from Key West to Cuba or from Cuba to Key West, and she had to try so many times before it worked.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:07]:
That's courage. That's courage. And it's, again, something to be proud of. Okay. The other approach that Strutless shares in his YouTube video is the practical one. You have a bunch of ideas and you don't know which one to to begin with. You have to make a decision. And just accept that every decision will lead to regret because there is loss that comes with every decision.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:35]:
Every time you say yes, you say no to something else. But you know what is worse? Making no decision. Making no decision is what's gonna lead to the most regret. Stagnation is poison for the soul. So the question that Strutless asks himself is if your life was a video game and you could do one thing, die, and then do another thing, which one would you do first? I love this. Very nerdy. My version of a similar question is if you knew that all of your ideas would fail, but you had to do 1 for fun, which one would you pick? I love this question because it focuses on the process, not the result. So if if the result didn't matter at all, which one we would you do just for the journey? I think these 2 questions are super powerful, so I'm gonna repeat them.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:32]:
Make sure you write them down somewhere. If your life was a video game and you could do one thing, die, and then do another thing, which one would you do first? That is from Strutless. My question is if you knew that all of your ideas would fail, but you had to do 1 for fun, which one would you pick? Now once you've made the decision, what's hard is to overcome the resistance and to actually take action. Like I said earlier, and that this almost became the title of the episode, indecision is safe because the scenario gets to remain perfect in your mind. You get to dream about what could be and get the same dopamine boost that if you had done it. This phenomenon is often called anticipatory pleasure or anticipatory reward. It's a concept in psychology and neuroscience that describes the pleasure or reward that comes from anticipating a future positive outcome or experience. When you talk about something you could do, your brain can simulate the experience and trigger the release of dopamine.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:21:43]:
This release of dopamine can create a similar feeling of satisfaction as actually engaging in the activity itself. People can spend their whole life talking about what they wanna do and who they want to be and never ever take action on that. There's an amazing episode about this on the Unfuck Your Brain podcast called perfectionist fantasy. I'm gonna add this in the show notes as well. It's so easy to dream about what you will do one day and the kind of person you will become in the future. But but if there is no evidence of you taking action in the present towards your dreams, then something is missing. That's something I had to learn when dating, paying more attention to what the person has actually done and is doing with their time more than to who they say they are. That's personal integrity.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:22:45]:
I didn't even know that was a thing before. Do this person's values show up in their behaviors in real time? Are they committed to acting in alignment with what they say they value and what they say their dreams are? Even when it's difficult. If personal integrity is important for you as well, but you notice that you tend to do a lot of overthinking and hesitating and second guessing and not as much doing as you would like to, that's okay. It's actually great news that you have realized it because you can now start shifting your identity from doubter or dreamer to doer. I'm gonna tell you how by sharing the next 3 steps. Step 1 is by paying attention to the way you talk about yourself. You might say things like, oh, I'm someone who struggles with decision making, or I I'm I'm an overthinker. That is a fixed mindset.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:23:51]:
You were not born an overthinker. That is a behavior that you practice over time for various reasons, and you can change. So instead of saying, I am this way. This is my personality final stop, practice turning sentences like this into more open statements like, I am learning to make decisions more efficiently. I am learning to become an action taker. I am becoming a doer. Write it down everywhere. If if if it needs to be on Post its on your bathroom mirror, do it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:29]:
If it needs if you need to copy it 50 times a day in your notebook like Bart Simpson at school, then do it. Also, I had a client who recorded herself say those things, and then she would listen to it on her way to work every day. Step 2, open yourself up to discomfort. Choose discomfort as a way of life because you care about growth, because you wanna see what you're capable of. This is a commitment because it's not going to be easy. You've got to find pride in that new way of being, to find pride in saying, you know what? I'm someone who would rather fail than not do anything. I am going to fail, and that's okay because that's what courageous people do. They get out there.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:25:20]:
They try new things, and then they fall flat on their face and they get up again. And I'm proud to be part of that gang. That's step 2. Step 3, and I'm walking you through those steps as if it's easy. It's not easy, but it's doable. Step 3, deal with the loss that comes with choosing 1 idea by putting all of the other ideas in your parking lot of ideas. That's what I call it. It can be a folder on your computer, a Google Doc.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:25:55]:
I have a Notion page, whatever. It it could be like a Kleenex box that you put little papers in. All of the ideas that you really love but that have not been chosen for this season of your life, just put them in the parking lot of ideas for later. It's kind of like if you make a big meal, like, in a slow cooker, you're never going to eat the whole thing in the next week. You're gonna freeze some of it for later. So your parking lot of ideas is like a freezer. You're gonna put your best ideas in there, and you're going to have a go at them later on when you have time and and you have energy. And you know what's great about the parking lot of ideas is I go back to it every now and then, and then some of the ideas that I thought were amazing, I'm like, they don't like me up anymore.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:26:51]:
So putting them in there is a great way to see if they pass the test of time. So you're not trashing them, you're just putting them in the parking lot to be revisited later, in the parking lot or the freezer. It's up to you to choose your preferred analogy. Okay. That's it for this week. I hope this was useful. Let me know your thoughts. If you wanna message me on Instagram, I'll be more than happy to chat at self growth nerds.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:27:22]:
If you wanna brainstorm your ideas with me and need help making one clear decision, you can book a one off call. It's called a clarity boost. We're gonna spend 90 minutes together. It's gonna be very intense. And by the end of it, you're gonna have committed to your one idea. We're gonna have made a game plan of what actions to focus on in the next 3 months so that you are able to go all in without confusion and without overwhelm. And I'm also going to help you strengthen your belief that you are capable of doing this. So just go to self growth nerds.com/boost.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:28:06]:
And on my website, you'll also find a page about working with me for 4 months if you want, a guide along walking alongside you and kicking kicking your bot for a longer period of time. That's also possible. For that, you can book a free discovery call. Okay. That's it for this week. I wish you a beautiful one, and I will talk to you next week. Bye, everyone. Hey.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:28:38]:
If you love what you're hearing on the South Growth Nerds podcast and you want individual help finding a new direction for your life and developing the courage to make your dreams a reality, you have to check out how we can work together on self Nerds or message me on Instagram at self growth nerds. My clients say they would have needed that support years ago. So if you're tired of feeling like you're wasting your life, don't wait. Get in touch now, and I cannot wait to meet you.